Why Father’s Day Annoys Me

“Happy Father’s Day to the best Dad in the world!”

“I have the best husband and father a girl could ask for!”

“Happy Father’s Day to my amazing husband and my very own amazing Dad!”

“I have the best Dad in the world I just don’t know what I would do without him!”

My enthusiasm for my daily Facebook browsing quickly weaned as I read status after status of Father’s Day wishes.

It seemed like all of the women my age in my feed changed their profile picture to one of  them with their Dad on their wedding day. Why is that thing?

Some people posted about thinking of those that are missing fathers that are no longer with us. A sweet tribute, but it felt empty. When you lose someone, you don’t need to be reminded of how much you miss them on a specific day. The truth is, you miss them every moment, every day. A random day in June neither amplifies nor diminishes that reality.

I found my self becoming increasingly more agitated and exited from the social media world for the day. As much as I wished we had a nice Father’s Day planned for our own little family, my husband is on nights and he slept the day away, just like he did last year. I don’t really remember what we did for that first Father’s Day after my son was born so it couldn’t have been too spectacular.

I haven’t celebrated Father’s Day in 10 years now and though I used to find the day to be very emotional, now I just find it trivial, jarring; a reminder of something I can’t have and the circumstances with my own husband mean that it’s not even a holiday I can fully embrace now.  I go through the motions; I never forget a card to my father-in-law and a present for my husband from my son. It all feels very obligatory.

I took out my emotional cocktail of bitterness and indifference by doing yard work today. A ton of yard work. It takes much longer to accomplish yard work with a toddler glued to your side all day, and my legs can easily be mistaken as diseased with the amount of mosquito bites I got, but at least the yard looks good better.

I realize my anger towards this day and its intentions are misplaced. I’m jealous that I don’t have a picture of my Dad and I on my wedding day. I hate that my husband’s schedule makes it impossible for us to ever do normal things like hang out with friends on the weekends or celebrate holidays. (Or that my husband actually would be the one to do the yard work.) I hate that even if I wanted this day to be significant, it can’t be.

When my husband finally woke up, my son and I gave him his Father’s Day presents. I unintentionally spoiled him this year (because good deals on all the things!) with a t-shirt, a hammock, and an adorable pillow I will tell you all about soon. We spent the evening covered in bug spray relaxing on the new hammock and catching up on a bit of family time. We have dinner reservations tomorrow to take advantage of a Father’s Day special. (Because free dinner!)

So I guess we are celebrating Father’s Day this year. Just not in the “oh my gosh you are so amazing what would I do without you” way. Because whether you know it or not, you would do what you had to do without your husband or your father. And you wouldn’t love them any more or any less no matter what date was on the calendar.

Happy Father’s Day to everyone that found meaning in it. I promise I will try to work on my attitude (and get some decent sleep. I’m grumpy when I’m sleep deprived.)

But can we please all agree on one thing….it is impossible for ALL of you to have the best husband/father/boyfriend/cat/dog/brother’s sister’s cousin in the world. Have a contest, figure it out, and then only the winner can brag.

Because obviously the heart of this issue is annoying Facebook statuses.

 

Comments

  1. Oh facebook. It’s a fantastic tool to rub salt in wounds and annoy the bloody hell out of you.
    I’m glad that you stepped away and didn’t get caught up in the hulabaloo to make you feel worse. I didn’t post anything.
    I don’t know what it is like to go through what you do on this day. It’s heartbreaking.
    Do you think your dad would have wanted you to celebrate and remember him anyways? If I’m out of line for saying that I apologise. I just don’t have the right words to help make your pain a little less.
    xoxo
    Kimberly recently posted..Marshmallow JarMy Profile

    • Right?! Facebook is an addictive evil.

      You know, I had never thought of it that way. I guess I don’t really ever think of that….because he’s not here to weigh in, you know? I don’t know. Heavy stuff to ponder I guess.

      Not out of line at all, very thought provoking. xoxo
      Julia recently posted..Why Father’s Day Annoys MeMy Profile