My Elated Exhaustion

I am tired now, and sleepy and feeling like all I want to do is crawl under the covers and lose myself in a dream.

But I am awake, and happy, and alert to the best of my ability, and I am here.

Here in this place where laundry and dishes threaten to take over and life’s administration edges its way into my serenity. Here where children’s TV shows permeate my thoughts and a little voice of “Mommy I need….” invades my introspection. Here where sun shines in my face and spring quivers on the verge of emerging.

Here where toddler hugs warm my soul and husband smiles are reassuring. Here where cats snuggle at my feet and laughter fills my hallways. Here where love is shown in everyday actions even if I sometimes forget to notice them.

I take a deep breath and inhale my life. I cherish it. I dismiss it. I dread its monotony. I cherish its predictability. I live it.

I bask in this collage of people and animals and objects that form into the puzzle that is my life.

Here in this chaotic quiet I reside and thrive and fail and dream and experience.

My life, my here, my elated exhaustion.