We Can Not Seriously Discuss Having Another Child Until You Grow Up

16 Feb By

A recent conversation with my husband:

Me: “Did you notice how spotless the house was when you got home today?”

Him: (pause) “I noticed it was clean. I didn’t check for spots.”  Oh, he’s being witty. I like it. 

Me: “Thanks babe. I mean, I ask you this question not because the house was a disaster when you left and perfect when you got home, but because it was clean when you left and clean when you got home and it took me ALL DAY to keep it that way.”

Him: laughing “Yeah….I help a lot though.” WHAT????

Me: “Well, actually I was a little frustrated with you this morning. I spent all day yesterday getting/keeping the house clean, because the pest control guy was coming over this morning. So when I went to bed last night, everything was clean. When I woke up this morning, I found the TV clickers in the middle of the floor, a dish towel in the middle of the living room with your dirty socks, a bag of opened chips laying out on the kitchen counter and a very dirty bowl and some utensils also on the counter, not even soaking in the sink, let alone put in the dishwasher. And you didn’t take out the trash and the recycling; for the third week in a row.”

Him: “What? Man, somebody must’ve broken in last night.”

Me: “I’m telling you, the house is a lot cleaner when you have crazy work hours. I can manage me and the baby. It’s you that is messy.”

Him: “Well, I clean up all day at work. I need a break when I get home.”

Me:  ”I clean up all day too!”

Him: “But really, I think about that at work. I think, wow, Julia would be so impressed with me right now. I’m straightening, I’m cleaning. I’m totally different at work than I am at home.”

Me: “I mean, I kinda think you’d have to be right? I’ve thought that before. I mean, you seem to be doing really well at work, so you must act different there than you do at home.”

Him: “Ha, yeah, I mean, I’m pretty impressive at work. Much different from the bumbling idiot husband you see at home.” Oh my gosh, he knows he’s a bumbling idiot??  ”I’m just really tired when I get home.”

Me: “Me too! But I need you to help out at night.”

Him: “You mean, I never get a break?”

Me: “I never get a break.  And it would mean a lot to my happiness and sanity if you would step it up.”

Him: (in a flirtatious manner) “So you won’t feel like you have two 2 year olds?” Oh my gosh, he knows he acts like a two-year old?? 

Me: (in shock) “I really do have two 2 year olds! I mean, I know I say that all the time kind of joking, but I really feel like I already have two kids. Honestly, we can not seriously discuss having another child until you grow up.” I can’t believe I just said that. 

Him: “Interesting.” pause “That’s a good line. You should put that in your blog.”

Either we just had a very revealing conversation that will help move our relationship in a positive direction, or I really did marry a bumbling idiot.

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“Uh oh, I forgot Daddy!”

15 Feb By

Last night, the hubs and I went out on a Valentine’s Day date. Don’t get excited and think we are romantic. We average one date about every 6 months. Our dating life is actually really pathetic. If there was a reality show about the biggest dating loser, we would totally win.

Lat night, we had a date because a local kid play place we go to offered a program called “night on the town.” They usually offer it the first Thursday of every month, but chose to capitalize on the Tuesday Valentine’s Day. I bit the bait, signed him up, and told the hubs to make dinner reservations. We were going out.

After a refreshing change of pace of going out to eat alone with my husband, we headed back to pick up our little guy.

When we walked in, he was just finishing a picture with one of the girls working that night. She held his hand and a crayon and helped him draw whatever he instructed her to. He was so excited to describe his drawing. He held out the picture and pointed to each figure and talked at a rapid pace.

“I draw Mommy and Noah and two kitties and a big house and a door knob!” Then, looking over at his daddy, he said, “Uh oh! I forgot Daddy!” The girl offered to help him draw daddy. She picked him up, put him in her lap, and helped him hold the crayon to draw a daddy. “Now that everything I need!” my sweet boy informed all of us after the completion of his drawing.

When we got home, we hung the picture on the refrigerator, just like we do with all of his art work. But it is secretly my favorite. I love the crayon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper that shows me such a simple but beautiful portrayal of what my little boy needs in life. I love that what is important in his world is his Mommy, and Noah and two kitties and a big house and a door knob. And that even though he forgot Daddy, he still needs him too. I love the insight into his mind of what his life is like.

It reminds me that it is all I need too. Just a mommy and a daddy and a little boy living in a “big” house with a doorknob and two kitties. Isn’t that what I always dreamed of? That picture is my childhood dreams come true, and now it is hanging on my refrigerator in my big house with a door knob that I live in with my family and my two kitties.

And even though the hubs works all the time and the house always needs repairs and the baby isn’t always nice and the mommy isn’t always happy, we are so blessed to have this life.

What a beautiful reminder that what I so often take for granted are my dreams of yesterday coming true today.  That picture was the best Valentine I could have asked for.

"Mommy and Noah and a big house with a door knob and two kitties and uh oh I forgot Daddy."

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My Scale Is An Asshole

12 Feb By

I don’t usually use such vulgar words in my life. But unfortunately, there is no better word to describe my bathroom scale.

My scale is stubborn, brutally honest, and holds an unwavering poor opinion of me and my weight. It is, in short, an asshole.

I am working so hard to improve its opinion of me. I am eating better. I am working out 3 days a week, an hour at a time. I am constantly chasing a toddler. And yet, when I go to my scale for validation, it unsympathetically gleams back a mean number. It is not apologetic and harshly blunt in its delivery.

I know that a relationship requires the effort of both parties, and I am willing to do my share of the work. I am aware that changes in interaction take time and I will do my best to be patient.

I wish my scale would be like those you see on the Special K commercials, and instead of giving me a number, a show me a word of encouragement. For example, “strong”, “beautiful”, or “you-are-a-great-mommy-and-you-are-super-sexy-and-I’m-proud-of-you-for-making-healthy-life-changes.”

Is this asking too much?

Perhaps.

Even though the dates I have with my scale often leave me feeling defeated, I still continue to go back and strive for its validation. One day, it might change its opinion of me and show me a nice little number. One day, I might change my opinion of my scale. I am looking forward to a good relationship, but it looks like this is going to be a long road.

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The Day I Considered Leaving My Two Year Old Home Alone…and then decided against it

8 Feb By

Yesterday was one of “those” days. Everyone has a day like this, but it is especially fun when you mix this kind of day with a 2-year-old in his terrible two prime. On the docket for the day: the library and Target. Pick up books, pick up Valentines for preschool. Seems manageable, right?

After waking up, getting dressed, and helping me straighten upstairs, (which really was very nice), my toddler decided that before we could go anywhere we had to eat breakfast. A reasonable request, except the ONLY breakfast he would tolerate was pancakes and syrup. And he has to watch “his show” first, which really means any show on PBS. After getting that all settled, I decided to work on laundry and dishes while he ate, during which time my little guy decided to unload the ENTIRE silverware drawer and bring it into the livingroom. By the time I had that cleaned up he had dumped out all of his blocks. He assured me that we could go to Target and the “ly-beary” but we had to build a rocket ship first. After our rocket ship was sufficiently constructed, blasted off, and destroyed, he had to go potty. I am very proud to say that he is just recently potty trained. VERY recently. Which means I still have to help, and this particular potty trip involved a lot of clean up. While I was still cleaning up, he decided to be a “monster” and put on a mask and chase the cats. Except the mask wouldn’t stay on his face, and every time it fell off he yelled. At me. For not making it stay on his face. It was time to move this process along.

“Ok, it’s time to get dressed!” I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster even though I was plagued with the type of exhaustion that can only be achieved by devoting years of your life to wiping someone else’s bottom.

“Why?”

“So we can go get books and Valentines! That will be so fun!”

“No.”

“Come on, buddy, we’ve been trying to go all day. Let’s go upstairs and get dressed.”

“No, I need play blocks.”

“We did play blocks, and now we need to run our errands really quick.”

“No.”

“Mommy needs to go to Target.” (At this point, Mommy really did need to go to Target. For sanity purposes.)

“Ok, Mommy.” Yay!!! He said ok! “You go Target and I stay here.” …pause…..What did he say?

“I can’t go to Target without you. You have to come with me.”

“NO! I want stay home!” This isn’t worth it. *sigh*

“Ok, we’ll stay home. What do you want for lunch?”

“NO! I stay home and you go Target!” Wow, he’s really pushing for this. I mean, that would be amazing. I would LOVE to go to Target alone. That would be so nice. And he is driving me crazy. But I can’t do that. 

“I can’t leave you home alone sweet boy.”

“Yes! I want stay home ‘lone!!” That is a compelling argument. I mean, there are times when he watches TV for 30 minutes straight and he’s pretty much unattended. This really wouldn’t be much different would it? I would definitely be home in 30 minutes…..

“sigh”

“That is not an option. Let’s eat lunch and nap or let’s get dressed and go to Target.”

“No nap! I am going Target.”

Awesome.

We woke up at 8:00 in the morning.

We finally made it to Target at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Such is my life with a two year old.

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Filed Under: Mommyhood is Messy, Two Year Olds Tagged With: , ,

Blogging Is Hard…..But I’ll Figure It Out

7 Feb By

So, this blogging thing is a little harder and more time consuming than I anticipated. I just discovered blogging a few months ago….(I know, where have I BEEN??) Oh that’s right, I’ve been in a mommy-hood immersion. Now that I am ending my sentence of baby-house-arrest, I have discovered the blogging community. Which lead me to discover that I would like to be a part of the blogging community. Which lead me to discover that…this is hard work!

I got the whole start-a-blog thing. WordPress made that part pretty easy. Then I wrote a few posts. Then I decided I needed a nice look to go along with my nice blog. I found a new theme and spent a while setting it up the way I wanted. Then I had to figure out a design and header for my blog. This took me forever. Much to my husband’s dismay I spent most of last weekend trying to get my design just right. Then I discovered that a lot of bloggers have button things on their blog. There went another day and a half of my life, trying to figure out how to make a blog button. And then, after wasting a day and a half of life on a tiny button, I discovered this handy tool. Thank you!!(But I made it. You can get it. Just go over there and grab it. Please. I worked really hard on it for you…)

Now I really like my blog’s look. It has a design I like. It has a custom header and button. It has ways you can contact me and a picture of my son and I. It feels good and it makes me happy. (And it looks pretty.)

Mostly it’s hard, because every time I try to sit down and dedicate some time to a post, I get interrupted by a tiny voice. “Mommy! I need choc-it mik! I need watch Ciff-urd big red ruff ruff! Mommy!!!” This post has been in progress for a while.

Now (in theory) I get to do the part of blogging that I came here to do in the first place; write. I often have many thoughts on my mind, and have been searching for a venue in which to explore them. I think this blogging thing could be really great for me, and I hope for you too. I hope that you find this blog, and that it is meaningful or relate-able to you. I hope this little corner of the internet brings you some little piece of joy, like I have found in so many of your blogs. Thank you for reading and thank you for letting me figure this blog thing out…a little at a time.

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I don’t do New Year Resolutions, but apparently I have a lot of Personal Goals

5 Feb By

I am not good with the whole New Year’s Resolution thing. In the past, I would make them and not follow through, so it really was a mute tradition. Finally I learned that about myself and stopped making them. My new plan for New Year’s Resolutions? No New Year’s Resolutions! Success! I was excellent on following through on nothing. Goooo me!

I followed the don’t-make-a-resolution plan for the past few years. This year, since our son is two and he can kind of start to understand some traditions (Christmas this year was so. much. fun!) we decided to talk about New Year’s Resolutions. I asked my husband what his resolution was, and he said he wanted to start eating healthier. I laughed at him and told him that was stupid. You know, because I’m a supportive wife like that. I mean, isn’t that the most over used resolution? I think I accidentally hurt his feelings, because he didn’t seem very excited about asking me what mine was. I think I had a luke warm premonition to start blogging.

New Year’s passed, no big changes were made at our house, and life went on. Then, at the end of January, I discovered that I’m a little bit fat. And I started to so something about it. So maybe my husband’s idea wasn’t really so bad after all. And this blogging thing? I’m totally doing that, too! I still have a lot to learn, but I am working on it almost every day.

The hubs and I have also set some financial goals for ourselves. The hope is to be in a much better financial place next year, and we are actively working towards that. For him, that means pulling some over time at work, and for me that means checking the bank account daily and not going on that Starbucks run or buying the little guy that super cute shirt at Target. I have to admit, it’s a little bit hard.

For someone who doesn’t believe in the whole New Year’s Resolution thing, I sure do have a lot of long-term goals lined up in front of me.  But they are goals I am excited about, and that help me become a better person physically, emotionally, and financially. And they are realistic things that I can do in baby steps. Maybe for this year’s New Year Resolution, I will try to remember not to laugh at my husband and tell him his ideas are stupid. Or something like that. I have to leave some room for improvement, right?

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A week in the life

2 Feb By

Normally, I try to take little man somewhere every morning for an activity, then come home for lunch, nap, outside play, house cleaning, and then bedtime routine. This week has thrown us off a bit and reminded me of the highs and lows of this stay-at-home mom gig I’ve got going.

Monday: a pretty regular day. Music class, lunch, nap, a walk outside, and then heavy cleaning for a playdate in the morning followed by our bedtime routine.

Tuesday: Playdate! My house is spotless, the sunshine is streaming in through my windows in the most beautiful way, I have home-made cupcakes ready for the children to decorate and coffee ready for my friend and I. The children play (mostly) nicely and I enjoy grownup conversation in a spotless home with homemade confections. Isn’t this the way I always dreamed being a stay-at-home mom would be? I felt like I was in a movie.

Wednesday: Sickness has attacked our house. My son and I both have runny noses and a case of the whines. We decide on a pajama and movie day and snuggle on the couch for Despicable Me and Beauty and the Beast. Then I am tired and ready for a nap, but little man has decided his sickness is over, and it would be a good idea to “make it snow” in the living room while Mommy lies on the couch feeling yucky. By the time I realize what “make it snow” means, my living room is COVERED in baby powder. I drag myself to clean up and finally coax the baby to sleep. After nap I park myself back in front of the TV and wait for the hubs to take over.

Thursday: (today) Feeling a little better, but not 100%. We spend the morning watching some Sesame Street. Then I get a creative burst and decide we should….finger paint! Shortly after my brilliant idea my kitchen in covered in various shades of blue, yellow, red, and green, and my white kitchen sink has turned into a rainbow. The phone is ringing but I don’t feel up to dealing with that, and some one is stinky. It’s either the baby, the cat litter box, or both. Probably both. The house is messy and laundry has piled up from me taking a day off yesterday. Lots to deal with this afternoon.

Friday: (tomorrow) The baby has pre-school in the morning and I should go to workout class. I might just schedule a date for myself with a cup of coffee and a good book instead. I hope to survive lunch and nap and then await the hubs arrival for the weekend and two full days of help with this baby thing.

Weekend triumphs to look forward to:

  • Getting over this cold. It is throwing me off.
  • Getting a new phone! Whoo hoo!
  • Superbowl Sunday…because I love the commercials and the excuse for junk food.

It’s the little things….

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